It’s not easy to build confidence when surrounded by a negative, discouraging society so I listed 12 biblical ways on how to be a confident Christian woman that you can work on starting today.
If you are tired of being robbed of your joy and peace, you need to know how to set healthy and personal boundaries. Personal boundaries are limits and rules a person sets to protect his or her life and relationships. Without boundaries, our lives will be full of chaos, brokenness, and pain. I realized that one of the main reasons why my joy and peace were short-lived in the past is because, for the longest time, I didn’t know how to set boundaries. So in this blog, I hope that it will also help you protect the blessings and gifts of life by learning how to set personal boundaries. After reading this article, you’ll learn what healthy boundaries look like, why it’s important, simple practical steps to set personal boundaries, and how to protect them moving forward. Learn more about setting healthy personal boundaries in our podcast: EP 21 Setting Healthy Boundaries with Addie Cook. Why Personal Boundaries Are Important Almost everyone on the internet talks about self-love and a peaceful life but without setting healthy personal boundaries, that would be impossible. Imagine a house right now. It was designed by an amazing architect and built by one of the best engineers you know. The house is clean, perfectly organized, and has all the things you love and adore in it. But there’s a problem. This house is located on a very dangerous street, accessible to robbers and trespassers. And it doesn’t have a door or a gate! The worst part is, that this house represents us and our individual lives. Our lives are precious but we live in an imperfect environment. You might say that you would rather build a house in a safe village. Well, that can be the case for actual houses but the reality is we live in an unsafe world where people and situations can easily rob us of our peace. (Also, even the houses in a village are locked and have high security! So should we in our personal lives.) Setting healthy boundaries is similar to this. We protect our lives and relationships by placing necessary limitations and rules on what can enter our personal space. For more practical reasons why we need to set healthy boundaries, here are 7 : 4 Main Consequences of Not Having Any Boundaries But no one can enter a strong man’s house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man. Then indeed he may plunder his house. Mark 3:27 Benefits are always talked about when learning about healthy boundaries. I think, similarly, we also have to discuss the consequences of not placing them in our lives. Damage to others and self Having no boundaries can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. It could cause self-sabotage as well whenever we allow others to continuously step over our boundaries. Lost self-identity People without boundaries often say “yes” even if it’s against their will. This could result in doing something that is not part of your identity. If you’re a Christian, an example could be saying “no” to relationships that are not of God. False peace False peace is when it is quiet on the outside but everyone is unwell within. People who have no personal boundaries result in a false peace environment. Facade Connected to the points above, when boundaries are unclear, we subconsciously create a facade to accommodate the people and situations that are crossing over our boundaries. What Healthy Boundaries Look Like The keyword for boundaries is self-respect. When a person has healthy boundaries, they can say “no” to whatever or whoever (will) invade or disrupt their personal space. Additionally, this person can also express their limitations and expectations to another person. Again, we can visualize personal boundaries as a gate or guard to our lives. How to Set Healthy Personal Boundaries I think we can all agree that we have to take responsibility for our lives. That includes taking responsibility for setting boundaries. Unfortunately, people can’t read minds so people can’t guess if you don’t like something or not unless you express yourself. I’m guilty of that. For so long, I’ve been living in a bubble hence I thought all people could understand one another. The real-life was harder than I imagined it to be. Fortunately, we learned how to set personal boundaries AND it’s not hard. Setting boundaries is pretty easy. Discern First, we have to discern. This includes discerning God’s will through prayer and meditation. This step should allow us to see what are our limits to certain behaviors and how we can control ourselves when the need arises. In our discernment, we have to listen to God’s wisdom instead of our feelings and the world’s standards. Each person has different limitations so your boundaries may look different than mine. However, when together, it should create an environment where harmony is present and respect is served. I love what GotQuestions wrote about boundaries, Boundaries can be used in healthy ways and sinful ways. The way to know which boundaries are godly is to examine the motive. Are you protecting yourself or someone weaker from potential harm, either emotional or physical? If so, then you are setting healthy and needful boundaries. However, if you are maintaining distance simply because you desire to exclude someone, that is sinful. Boundaries that maintain cliques or prohibit ministry opportunities are unhelpful. GotQuestions.Org Express Warning: This step doesn’t mean you have to post and announce your boundaries (unless you feel the need). This step means to express your boundaries when a person or situation makes you uncomfortable, intentionally or unintentionally, and whenever your boundaries are crossed. An example of this is when a person constantly shouts at you (or has shouted at you), you can calmly express that you don’t like being shouted at because it makes you anxious or nervous. Another example of expressing boundaries is when we communicate how we would like to be treated as a friend, partner, member, or colleague. Like, expressing not to talk to you when you are angry or that you want to settle things right away (whichever type of person you are). Or it could be as simple as expressing that you cannot do overtime at work. The more precise you can express your boundaries, the more likely your boundaries will be respected. -Science of People Follow Through Lastly, after expressing our boundaries, we have to be firm and follow through with what we set. This could be the hardest part because we don’t know (or have control over) how the other person will react or how the situation will turn out. There will be two sides to this – the other party can accommodate or cannot. If they can accommodate, then it’s best and healthy to continue working with them. If not, you could find a resolution that works best for the future which could be to compromise or give space indefinitely. I remember my friend expressed her situation to her previous company’s owner that she was not treated well by her store manager. We talked beforehand that she was going to set boundaries by communicating the situation to the owner and we hoped together that it would be resolved well. However, the owner expressed that she could just find a different job if she had a problem with the manager. Her follow-through is to quit. We both agreed that it was a good conversation because she and the owner expressed their situations well and it wasn’t that much of a loss for both of them anyway. She didn’t like the treatment she experienced and the owner didn’t want to resolve the issue. My friend found a better job later on. Sometimes we are afraid of the outcome of setting boundaries, and that’s completely normal. Following through our boundaries is a sign of respect and taking responsibility for our well-being. Addie Cook taught me about these three steps and we talked more about boundaries in more detail in our podcast EP 25 Setting Healthy Boundaries with Addie Cook. Protecting Personal Boundaries Sometimes, people don’t get it the first time. We still need to have grace and not block people right away from our lives. Here are some tips to protect your boundaries moving forward. Conclusion We’re all a student of life and we’re all continuously learning. So don’t beat yourself up if you haven’t had boundaries for so long. I also only learned this recently and taking action on the steps has tremendously changed my life. Whenever we set healthy boundaries, we give way to a more productive and healthy way of living. This also means that we can give more of ourselves to people, projects, and opportunities that are most important to us. Setting Boundaries As A Christian In the bible, we are taught to love one another and to give the other cheek when we are slapped. Similarly, the Bible also teaches us about healthy boundaries, self-respect, and self-love. Giving to others means that we have our source (which is God) and the capacity to give and share. Here are some bible verses that are related to setting healthy personal boundaries. But no one can enter a strong man’s house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man. Then indeed he may plunder his house. Mark 3:27 Training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, Titus 2:12 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31 Thorns and snares are in the way of the perverse; He who guards his soul will be far from them. Proverbs 22:5 Don’t give what is holy to dogs or throw your pearls to pigs. Otherwise, they will trample them and then tear you to pieces. Matthew 7:6 Cheers to learning healthy personal boundaries to foster more healthy lifestyles and relationships!
When I told my family and friends that I was going to Japan to establish a prayer ministry — they were ecstatic for me. However, when I announced that I will fly next Saturday, they held their breaths back. Well, to be honest, I can’t blame them. It felt short-notice and any sane person would say I am unprepared. I was, 100%. It wasn’t much of a short notice though. It has been in my heart to go and pray for Japan since May of 2023. Time flies very fast when you’re busy and because everyone was busy with their own lives, the time between May 2023 and January 2024 felt like a snap. The Flight To Japan I booked my ticket on January 11, 2024 after much prayer, assurance, and word from God that He really is calling me to go that early. My flight was on January 13, 2024 right after our church’s prayer and fasting. While preparing for my trip, God reminded me of this verse Luke 9:3 And He said to them, “Take nothing for the journey, neither staffs nor bag nor bread nor money; and do not have two tunics apiece. I couldn’t follow it word by word, of course. I needed to have clothes because I will be staying in Japan for at least 3 weeks but I removed anything that I felt was of little value in them. Instead of bringing two bibles, I brought one. Instead of two sweaters, I brought one. Instead of two pens, I brought one. I brought two shoes though (and while writing this now, I should’ve brought just one pair of boots instead of bringing my running shoes. Why? Because running feels impossible in this weather. It’s my first time in a winter season and the cold is intense!), I also brought two pairs of pants and three stockings (my sister gave them to me, bless her!). But you get my point and the list goes on. When we follow God, we have to remove anything that’s of no value and will just burden us along the way. God indeed provided for me, even through clothes. I’ll write more about this later. The flight was fast and easy. Usually, we fly for about 4 hours from Manila to Osaka but earlier, we only flew for three hours. While flying, I broke my full-fast with a Jollibee ChickenJoy meal, wrote my first blog, and read my Bible reading plan. I also had little chitchats with my seatmates. Even if the flight was quick, there were tons of tourists that went through immigration and so that ate up more than an hour of my time waiting in the queue. Osaka felt familiar. My family and I often traveled to Osaka last year because of family business so by this time, Osaka felt like a second home. What was not familiar to me was the cold. The Philippines don’t have a winter season and the coldest temperature we experience in our place is 18 °C whenever we open our AC’s. I walked through the cold 4°C temperature from the airport to my aunt’s home. Luckily, there’s a heater inside the trains. I only had to walk around 1 kilometer with freezing hands and face while carrying my luggages and pasalubong. (Please excuse me, it’s my first time experiencing a 4°C temperature and I get cold very easily). I really can’t imagine how I would walk without the jacket that my mom forgot in our house in the Philippines. During that walk, I had mixed emotions. I felt joy, of course, that I obeyed God. I felt excitement for all the miracles that God promised. Lastly, I felt nervous too, thinking how my mom and aunts would react when I knock on the door later. This is a journal entry so there’s not much to learn but tomorrow, I’ll post about my meeting with a Japanese pastor, experience in attending a Christian service in Japan, and about my reconciliation with my eldest sister. See you!
Calling, purpose, mission. God’s call for us has many names but it boils to one thing: Will we answer? When God created the world, He put specific purpose on every creation – to every star, to nature, the rocks and their formation, the ecosystem and every living thing, along with nonliving things. Of course this includes us, human beings. God created each one of us with a purpose in mind and at His perfect time He calls us. When a creation is without purpose, it is meaningless. A waste. What is God’s calling? A calling from God is the process by which the Father draws (or calls) a person to Himself. It includes God opening a person’s mind to understand spiritual truth, and it is literally an invitation to salvation for that individual. Life, Hope, and Truth We see a lot of times that God called His people to salvation — from Abram’s family to Jesus dying on the cross for us. But sometimes, the characters mentioned in the Bible might seem a little too “far” from the people of today. (Although I 100% would say that we can still relate to every character in the Bible). So in this blog, I’ll share with you a millennial/gen z of this generation who found her way to accepting God’s calling for her life. The Call Sometimes, our calling is influenced by people we look up to (parents, amazing people, leaders) or people that touched us from a point in our lives. You’ll find that your traits, desires, background, and strengths will match the best to God’s call for you. Mine was volunteering, connecting with new people, cultivating communities, and going on adventures. So when God called me to do missions, I felt the burden of being selfless for people I’m not blood-related with (I used to be VERY selfish when I received the call and I believe I still am working on being selfless today) and the impossibility of being able to do what God requires of me to do (Spoiler: i am just the instrument, it’s God who will do the work). However, in my heart, I know that His calling for me makes sense. I love people and relationships. I love seeing people be healed, see hope, and become better. To top it all, I always love being outside. God called me to serve as a missionary when I was 17 years old. That young woman thought she was going to start missions when she turns 35 and already has a family and business that provides for her trips. How funnily wrong she was. God called me to step into my calling when I turned 24, 7 years after I received my calling. Single and with a business that heavily relies on GOD’s provision to acquire clients. The Response When you realize the true calling of God in our life and the moment that God calls us the moment we’re ready, you’ll experience a slow, ULTRA satisfying feeling of joy overtaking your whole soul, mind, and body. I remembered Moana, a Disney character, who was called by the ocean to restore the heart of Te Fiti. It was a slow burn, from her childhood until she couldn’t contain it any longer. I remember her singing “See the line where the sky meets the sea, it calls me | And no one knows, how far it goes | If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me | One day I’ll know how far I’ll go”. I remember Moana singing with determination, curiosity, a brave heart, and most importantly, a sense of joy. When I got the call of God to go, I leaped for joy and couldn’t believe that I was gonna start my calling 11 years earlier than expected! I think I jumped for joy for 5 mins until I couldn’t catch my breath anymore and worshiped God in my little study room from my old condo. After my quiet time with God, I called all the important people in my life regarding the call. I couldn’t wait to tell them. I responded “Yes” to God, in my room. Again, in our week of fire. Again, when I doubted if it was His call. Again, when I almost didn’t want to go. Again, when I felt like my world got detached to me. Again, when I prayed and fast. And again, when He asked me to go as soon as I could. It was several yes’s before I booked the flight and stepped in faith. The Process Following God’s call is often a blur at the start. How could it not? His call takes us to a place we haven’t been before. As for me, I didn’t have any connections in the place He asked me to go. I didn’t know the language. I didn’t know the culture. And almost every detail of what His plans are. I know now that there’s a proper training and course in doing missions. But I felt like God really allowed me to go through those foolish yet zealous steps that I did: 1. Learned the basics of the language, 2. Applied to different mission agencies, 3. Applied to churches, 4. Planted seeds of prayers during my family trips, 5. Researched how to take my cat with me, 6. Researched about living there long term. I also did mention God’s call to me to our church pastor, but at that time, the call was so new and small for me that it didn’t really leave an impact on our pastor when I told him. (If I am to do it again, I would consult my pastor specifically on what I should do if God calls me to a mission instead of telling my pastor my vision, word, and dreams.) Long story short, after several applications and inquiries, I was introduced to different people whom I hope I can meet face to face here in Japan and get further connections. We started a small prayer group to pray for my ministry here. By the way, God’s specifically calling me to Tokyo, Japan. It didn’t make sense after the “joy” went down. I didn’t like Japanese people. My family lives in Osaka. That’s an 8-hour drive from Tokyo. And man, I am not rich while Tokyo is expensive. People there WORK hard. I barely work at all. It didn’t make sense. But when we follow our dreams, not every step has to make sense. Most of the time, the steps are blurry but they’re always firm. In the next weeks, I will be meeting at least 4 people to connect me to partnership with Tokyo churches and needs. And after my trip here in Japan, I will be undergoing a lot of trainings to equip myself in being a successful missionary. Blessing This is the start of my call. Our pastor talked about “Top Line Blessing” and “Bottom Line Blessing” during our Week of Fire. The inspiration was from Genesis 12:1-3 when God blessed Abraham. The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.“I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you;I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse;and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.” I know God blessed me to become a missionary here in Japan. I know that that blessing, God will use again to be a blessing in this country. To lead people to Him, decrease suicide rate, partner with schools and churches, and so much more that I wouldn’t be able to comprehend today yet. God did not call me to “just” be blessed and to receive the top line blessing. God called me to be generous, to share what I have — the life I have in me, to the Japanese people. Conclusion So to you, whatever God’s call is for your life, He will be with you every step of the way. God gives wisdom to all those who ask of Him. He has provided and prepared everything in advance for us to walk on. Pray and trust in Him. If you’re not yet sure what God’s call to you is, come along with me. You might know yours while following me in my journey to follow mine. Author’s Note: This is my first published blog. And moving forward, everyday, as long as I can, I will post my journery or daily devotion about God’s kindness and faithfulness in my journey in hopes that I can inspire you and teach you about His ways.
Why are days flying so fast? I can’t believe it’s been over a month since I posted my last podcast episode. My train of thoughts looks like this “I missed yesterday’s episode.” “Oh no, I can’t do it today.” “Maybe tomorrow” “Promise, tomorrow I’ll record.” “My listeners would understand” “I have to prepare to go back to the Philippines.” “I can’t gather the energy to record.” “What will I record?” “Oh Lord, I’m not faithful in following you in this ministry.” “Lord, I miss my podcast and my listeners.” “Lord, should I continue to do my podcast?” If you’ve been listening to my podcast, or if you know me personally, you know that I like to do a lot of things. I like to travel, I like to write, I like to do videos, I like to do podcasts, I study a lot of things, and I dream of doing a lot of things. I read, I make art, I workout, I run, I hike. So much so that when I arrived here in the Philippines, I’m overwhelmed what to do first, or next. After I cleaned my (sister’s) room, I feel like I’ve been sucked by a blackhole either sleeping all day or staring at the window. Not able to do anything I like to do. I’m not productive in my (sister’s) room and I’m not productive outside. To make things worse, I read an old blog of mine that makes me question again all my current decisions now. I wrote this blog to express this: Here on earth, I can only do so much. I can only express my devotion to God with my limited time, resources, and energy. In heaven, I can worship Him without any constraint. I can reflect all that He is, having endured the tests here on earth, finally not needing anything anymore.
Note: Long blog 🙂 “For the moment, just let me know your willingness”, Janet wrote in her email as she asks for volunteers to clean OMF’s guest house in Karuizawa. We are located in Chiba, that is about 2-3 hours drive to Karuizawa. I was more than willing! To help and to go. So and so that I said “Yes” even if the planned dates to go at that time is beyond what my visa allows me. My visa expires at March 7th (extension request got denied) and the invite is to clean from March 19-23. Good thing that the cleaning schedule was moved to the last week of February because the OMF van won’t be available for the first requested dates. And so we went. We spent 4 days in Karuizawa. The time was spent with cleaning, fellowship, silence, and rest. This is the best part of my Serve Asia trip. Thank you Lord Jesus for this experience. Even now that I’m back in the Philippines, I look back at our short trip to Karuizawa with warmth and gladness. We were tired because of all the hard work from cleaning but even that didn’t feel like work. Special Experiences That I clearly want to highlight and never forget— My Corner Room Janet led me straight to my room when Kangsan and I arrived at the guesthouse. The house smells of old cabinets and has a subtle hint of kerosene from the heater. They say smell has a very strong impact in keeping memories so I’m really thankful for this. No sarcasm. Karuizawa felt (and smelled for that matter) like a warm and beloved home. So, we entered my little corner. It’s a fairly small room. One single bed, one chair, one clothe rack, one heater, and a keyboard on the corner. What makes it special are the trees that surround the room. The gentle sunlight passing through the curtains are magical for me. And I don’t want to forget the mornings I spent reading the Bible while the birds were singing so loud and clear. It’s also cozy at night! It has a little lamp so I read before I go to sleep during the 3 nights we stayed here. Jogging Surrounded by Nature No regrets in bracing the cold morning (~2°C) and packing heavier bags to jog for 2 days in Karuizawa. It was worth it. If ever the Lord allows me to go back to Karuizawa someday, I will run in this beautiful place again. This morning exercise is special to me not just because of the nature but also because it reminded me of my childhood. I grew up in a similar place. Our house (then) was also surrounded by nature. We would wake up to rooster’s crow. And we would also hear the birds so very clearly. We could also run around, pick some flowers, and go home to a warm home with a warm breakfast. Ahhh, the power of memories. Going back to Karuizawa — Fellowship and Games Our mornings are spent working, our late afternoons are spent travelling, our evenings are spent playing 7 wonders 😂 This is Jessy and Harry’s games and this is why I adore Jessy so much. Haha. She introduced a lot of games to us and she’s so patient to teach all of us! As a person who’s really bad at games (hence why I don’t play as much), I found out that it’s a good way to spend time with people. Writing this now with 8 family games in my Shopee cart. Thanks for the influence, Jessy! We also spent a lot of time talking about meaningful, fun, and funny things ^o^ Midnight Snacks! You would think that jogging early in the morning would knock me off to bed early. Wrong. Haha! For 2 nights, Micha, Kangsan, and I chattered, laughed, and played til past midnight. And yes, also ate! We ate so much to the point that on our 3rd day, there’s not a lot of food to indulge during our lunch. Our bad. It was really funny because we have to be veeeery quiet as little noise can be heard all over the floor. We did our best to stay quiet. On our last night, we played games in Kangsan’s room until 2:00 am (i think). Ahh, only fun memories. I really thank God for my youth. A Rest House How I wish I can write about every little details. I want to write more about Janet and Peter’s sweetness and wisdom. I want to write more about all the learnings from this place, or the advises I got from these missionaries while lounging on the heated blanket, or just the quiet and restful time I spent with everyone. But, as I am well aware of, I can only express so much. Our time in this rest house in Karuizawa will always hold a special place in my heart. Thank you, Father, for this experience. Thank you, Father, for the people I spent this time with. It didn’t even feel like we worked. But we did. It was hard work to clean the house but also yokatta that there’s 6 of us. We were the biggest cleaning team so far. Thank you God that You provided a place where Your children can rest and find peace. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 ESV Cameras Used: Canon 600D & Sony Alpha 7CPhotos by: Rachel, Kangsan, Harry, and Janet
Blog slightly taken from my personal quiet time. 26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. 28 You heard me say to you, ‘I am going away, and I will come to you.’ If you loved me, you would have rejoiced, because I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. John 15:26-28 I rummaged through my Bible this morning to find where I should read next. With my head clouded and heart distracted, I realized maybe it’s time for a new Bible Plan. Interestingly, there’s a Bible Plan saved on my phone that I haven’t started yet. The title is “A New Beginning”. I closed the app and argued with the Lord how I don’t want a new beginning. If I get a new beginning, that would mean the 3-month mission trip is finally closed! But I have so many things yet to do: finish all my videos for OMF, write blogs, post content. I argued that accepting this “New Beginning” would mean that that chapter will be gone with the clouds. I was wrong though. Yokatta. Here’s everything I wrote: A New Beginning I actually do not want a new beginning *o* but yes, I have to let go of those 3 months. That is nothing compared to the 3 years the disciples experienced with Jesus. I’m worried about not remembering, especially that I have work left to do but v.26 promised that the Holy Spirit is with me to teach me and bring in remembrance (what a beautiful phrase) all the lessons Jesus taught me while I was on my mission trip. So that worry is answered and solved. [[Another realization: Remember when the disciples went back to fishing after Jesus died on the cross? I felt that way as I started to design for my clients again. It felt like gosh I’m back to my old life again. BUT! But that’s not how I should be anymore. God made me a new person for the past 3 months I did the ministry. So I may go back to my “old” work but it’s no longer the “old” Rachel. I’m the new Rachel He formed, taught, and ministered to while I was in Japan. I can now boldly preach Christ because I’ve experienced Him and His miracles for the past 3 months.]] Promise of Peace Lord, I will always have your peace. This reminded me of 평화 and 강산 with the former’s name meaning “Peace” in Korean. Your peace is much greater though. It is Your peace that holds everything together in order. It is Your peace that shuts chaos out of our hearts and out of this world. Your peace is within me. This is why I don’t have to panic or worry… or be afraid. Your peace will hold me together. ♥︎ Promise of His Spirit Lord, Your ascension meant that the Holy Spirit will come. Your going away meant that You will be with our Father, your #1. You are so good that You didn’t leave us as orphans. We have your Spirit. And that Spirit will always be in us until we see you face to face. Moving Forward After writing this devotional, I felt at peace, free, and joyful again. As Meg shared with me earlier today: Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert…to give drink to my chosen people, the people whom I formed for myselfthat they might declare my praise. Isaiah 43:19,20c-21 If I keep dwelling on the past (in my case, missing all the people), I would never be able to move forward. I would edit and write with sadness in my heart instead of joy and gratefulness. I thank God that He knows us and our needs. I thank God that He corrected my heart. I thank God for His Spirit that richly dwell in our hearts. Indeed, we lack nothing because we have Him.
I had a vivid dream after a long time. It was about something simple and funny — I went to an event in Japan without a proper attire. When I woke up, I realized I was back home in Manila. My mom’s house, in my sister’s room, my niece waking up at the same time, greeting me a good morning. I think I didn’t want to face it yet. I kissed my niece good morning and went back to sleep. I woke up again a few hours after, now with my niece scrolling through my mom’s phone, I slept again. A few hours after, my niece woke me up gently to tell me it’s time to eat lunch. I went down with her but didn’t eat lunch. I’m writing this blog while my 2nd cat is leaning close to me and my 1st cat sleeping in front of me. This is my home. For many reasons though, I only cried for most hours I was awake today. Going Back Yesterday’s lighter. From morning to night, my heart’s full of love and joy. I looked back at the past 3 months, remembering my friend’s faces, it was nothing but bliss. Before I went home to the Philippines, I asked my friends in Japan to write me an advice/message in a mini notebook. I read all of them in the airplane, and the ones written by the people close to me over and over again. Holding each of their words close to my heart. “Joyful tears from our GOD are the best tears.” my seatmate on the flight home said as I couldn’t stop tearing up because of gratefulness. Interestingly, God also displayed a rainbow when we arrived to the airport which I should write more on a different blog. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy before. The Pull I’ve been warned though. That it would be hard when I go back to the Philippines. That I’ll probably face many oppositions or rejection from people I love. That it would be hard to feel at home again and have a feeling that I don’t belong at home anymore. But nobody warned me about what I’m feeling now. Nobody warned me that I’ll yearn for the people I spent so closely for the past 3 months. I miss all of my friends in Japan so much. I had the pleasure to be loved and to love wholly. Now that I’m away from them, I can only miss them. I can now only hold on to the photos, videos, and letters I have of them. There’s no way I can look forward to the day I’ll see them or visit them in our workplace or their sharehouse. I wrote earlier, “I can always go back to Japan. It will be the same as it ever been. But it will never be the same again for me without the people that made me love staying in such a lonely place.” And for some of them, I literally might never see again. It hurts to think of that now. I texted my friend earlier as I couldn’t stop crying “What will I do with all these emotions? How will I process this? I miss all of them so much.” The worst thing is that we didn’t build our friendship in chats so we don’t communicate online aside from work-related topics. Let Go One advice given to me by a close friend is to “let go”. His words have been in my head since last week. I didn’t know that they are the first ones I have to let go. How do I let go of such beautiful memories and people? How do I let go my glimpse of heaven? I will learn to let go eventually. At some point, I have no choice but to do it. But not today, not tomorrow, not this week. I made up my mind to only start letting go after I write about everything, completed all my personal vlogs, and finish my work for OMF social media. Today, or more specifically tonight, I will go back to sleep with a heavy heart while missing all the people I love from 2,992 km away.
This blog is my first step in fulfilling one of my childhood dream: to be a travel blogger.
As I follow my dream, my hopes is at the same time, this little blog will help you be closer to God, inspire you to travel, and give you the courage to follow God wherever He calls you.
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