This blog is a form of procrastinating. Instead of writing my outline for tomorrow’s speaking engagement, here I am writing a personal blog. The featured image (Korean food) has nothing to do with everything I will write in this blog, except that they’re both an attempt to grasp something I can’t/am yet to hold.
Baby A.
The past 2 days have been amazing. I’m with my sister to assist and be with her while her partner is on a trip. I’m mostly just watching, barely helping at all! The most that I can help with is looking after A. while my sister’s taking a nap, eating, or breathe for a moment. Apart from that, salutes to her, really.. and all the newborn moms. My sister and her partner haven’t slept for a full sleep since they went home. 3 hours max, that’s it. I woke up earlier today, fighting myself not to sleep again. While my sister’s already nursing her daughter. She’s been waking up from every hour or two last night to feed and care for A. Wow is an understatement.
Since I went back to the Philippines, my camera roll’s been quiet. Now, they’re bustling again with A’s photos. She’s so pretty. I care for her deeper now that I’ve been looking at her and caring for her (even for a bit).
A bump in the crossroad
Tomorrow, I’m going to talk about “Living God’s Purpose” to 300 students. I was prepared to outline and create my slides at 4pm, just after my work. Surprisingly, I got overthrown by a bump just around that time. Living my purpose, aka following God closely and following His leading, is NOT a smooth straight road.
I wondered earlier, maybe I should add this to my outline: obstacles to living your purpose. Haha. Joke. I’m just exaggerating, what’s thrown at me isn’t really an obstacle, but a challenge. I thought earlier, huh, I forgot that this was a challenge to me since early 2024 before going to Japan. It’s here, again. The “tangible” result.
The good and faithful servant “doubled” the talents given to him by his master. I already know the tangible results I’ll send to them, but I wonder, will it be enough for them? I already know years ago that I don’t exactly fit the standard… but I cling to my friends’ encouragement:
Kaya yan ni Lord chel. You are obeying his voice so just prepare and don’t worry that much just give them what you have.
R.L
But at the end of the day, kung si Lord ang tumawag sayo. Si Lord ang gagawa ng paraan for you.
M.B
Go chel. Will pray for you.
R.L
The Lord is with you whatever it takes. Love you🩷
Whirlwind
2024 was the year the Lord taught me to relax and rest in His presence. That was the year’s focus. Maybe I’ve been too relaxed that an unexpected blow of wind already feels like a whirlwind. How can I be distracted and burdened so easily with just a simple demand? Am I afraid that I won’t be able to study? Why would I be afraid if it’s the Lord who’s leading me to study?
The Lord have already prepared the way, we just have to walk in it. How? By following Him closely. By leaning to Him in every moment.
Music
I’m listening to a playlist I made back in 2020. It feels good that I like my music taste now, I used to be very insecure with my playlists. My friends would often comment negatively to my type. This is not connected to anything I wrote above. As I said, I’m procrastinating. To be fair friends, they only gave me my focus topic yesterday. We’ve been praying though. Too bad, my speaking engagement tomorrow is not affiliated to our church, so I can’t add it to my tangible results report. Huge sigh.
I should start writing my outline now. Over the weekend, I’ll complete my Japan’s 3-month mission trip report and my 9-year tangible result report. All these reports and “results” are only by God’s grace. Because look at me, I’m a scatter brain. Hahaha.