I used to be the person that longed deeply for love. Not that I didn’t get it but more so, I didn’t feel it.
I remember my life group leader once told me, “You can’t expect people to love you the same way you love them. We all express love differently.”
That stayed with me.
Looking back, during those times when I was craving connection and affection, I also realize now — I was being selfish. I gave love expecting the same (or even more) in return. When that didn’t happen, I felt frustrated, drained, and invisible. It made people feel either indebted to me or distant from me.
But God…
He never left. It was His love that quietly and faithfully filled my empty cup.
I believe that the first years of a young Christian are the hardest years to survive. At least for me. God allowed all sorts of problem in my life and in our family. We went through A LOT.
Finances. Health. Separation. Divisions. Ungodly relationships. Sins.
Add to that the struggle to walk closely with the Lord. As a young Christian, it took me years to give up all that I had to give up. Good thing, the Lord is patient with us.
And good news, the story didn’t end there.
My life completely turned around for the better when I paused studying and donate my liver to my nephew. I didn’t know then that it would lead me to the most beautiful path. But I was assured by God that it’s Him who’s calling me to step out of the boat and walk on water.
I’ve been walking on water and living in miracles with Him since then.
During the course of that dark, heavy season of our lives — preparing for liver transplant, I met Ate Nica who later became my life group leader. Then through her life group, I met Ate Rose and Shaira. They became my best friends years later.
After the transplant, I decided to work while waiting to return to school (I had to wait 1.5 years before I could continue). In that work, I met Marvin, Ella, Edison, Gab, Jecoy, and Ate Jon. That was 2019, one of the best years of my life.
I believe it was God who formed our little group — me, Edison, Ella, and Marvin. Only Ella and I have the same job. Marvs was in a different role and Ed’s in a different department. We ate side by side one lunch time and Ed (despite coming from a different dept) stuck with us. He and Marvs became best of friends.
We would bond together after work. We would eat, pray, talk, sing and dance, play games, and everything you can think of. Because of these people, along with my other workmates and churchmates, my heart that was longing for affection suddenly overflowed with so much joy and love.
It’s been 6 years since we met but we still keep in touch. Ed’s already married and I’m close friends with his wife, Ate Grazie.
Ever since I met them, along of course with my best friends Ate Nica, Shai, Ate Rose, + Angge, I’ve never again questioned if people ever loved me. I got the confidence and assurance that I was loved. I was celebrated. I was in the right place.
These people became the light in my dark life. God used them to transform bitter Rachel to bright Rachel.
And through these best friends of mine, I’ve come to understand the beauty and fulfillment of godly friendships.
To truly love and be loved.
Thank You, Jesus — for the gift of friendship.