As I settle in our semester, I can’t help but be grateful to the Lord. Especially being surrounded by loving and godly people, learning His word deeper, and following Him closely. This has just been my dream years ago as a new believer.
I’ve always prayed to live in His courts all the days of my life for His presence is better than a million elsewhere. Studying in a seminary is a glimpse of heaven. Yes, a glimpse, because I know heaven would be thousand times better. A million better, even, to be in His very presence.
My schoolmates and I keep on saying that no matter how heavy or rigorous our readings and requirements are, we are still so eager to do them.
We even don’t like it when classes are suspended! We love going to school, haha!
We are rested even if we’re so busy with work. We are blessed even if we face rejections from people. We are at peace even if we battle so many.
The Christian Bubble
It’s not the first time I thought of staying in my “Christian” bubble— where I’m surrounded by people who I love and loves me, where people agree that there is only one God, and where most are inclined to follow Jesus.
Many times I thought it’s better to cut myself off from the toxicity of this world. From worldly influence, lifestyle, ideologies, and corruption. Besides, these things do nothing but drain me.
I already know the truth so isn’t it wise to stay in the bubble of this truth?
The Lord is Looking
One of my old friends said she’s always been mindful of how she acts around us, sadly, as she’s conscious and afraid to be corrected the moment she falls.
May we not perceive the Lord that way. The Lord looks at His children lovingly. With eyes expecting of our faithfulness and return to Him.
Interestingly, God also looks for those whom He can send — those who are humble, contrite in spirit, and tremble at His word. He looks expectantly at us excited to pour His grace and power over those who’s delight is in Him.
A God so powerful to do whatever He put His mind to with just a word but yet, for a loving reason, chooses to look for instruments in His mission.
Hunger for Righteousness
I found this draft from just a few months ago:
My heart grieves as I write this. A few moments ago, I asked the Lord “God, why is the world so broken? Why is the world so evil?”
My dear reader, do you also get these realizations? Yes, we are safe in His love and we experience His favor everyday. But do you still have the burden of this world’s sin? And get a sense of urgency as the world continue to devour in evil things?
Things of the devil are rampant today— abortion, murder, corrupt government, evil leaders, selfish ambitions, lustful men and women, people worshipping idols.
Do you still hunger for righteousness? Or do you conform to the world’s ways?
Light My Heart on Fire
Since my school is so safe— a place of solace and rest, I had this thought that I don’t ever want to be out in the world. How can I ever think of going to the mission field again where God is rejected? I already had a taste of how difficult it is. How can I ever want being sent again if I am already so comfortable where I am?
If it was up to me, I wouldn’t want to go anymore. But it’s the Lord who calls and corrects me.
I am reading “Gods and Kings” by Lynn Austin. It is a novel written in the setting of King Ahaz and King Hezekiah’s reign. It gave me a picture of the reality of the prophets during Isaiah’s time.
As Micah went to Jerusalem to deliver a message to King Hezekiah, he was surprised to be in the pool of idolaters, harlots, people who reject and mock our Lord. In his mission, he thought:
“Weariness and depression settled over Micah as he recognized the hopelessness of his mission. It was too late for his nation. His was only one voice, shouting against thousands of others. What could he possibly hope to accomplish? No one would listen to a poor peasant farmer-including the king. Isaiah was an educated man of royal blood, and the king hadn't listened to him. What was Micah doing here? This was useless. Stopping evil was like trying to hold back the waves of the sea.”
- Lyn Austin
I cry to God as I drive. It must be the Spirit grieving within me. I am no stranger to Micah’s feeling.
Before I went to Japan and realized how people are so corrupted, just within my circles, I thought “Why would the Lord call me to Japan if even my own family and friends reject Him?”
It’s still the same today. “What can I do Lord? I’m only a woman.” The Lord provides no answer except His peace. In the end, He will prevail. Heaven will fill the earth.
Until then, may the Lord light my heart on fire. May He cause me to be as passionate as Isaiah, Micah, the prophets, and His followers during the reign of Ahaz.
May my heart burn for God’s truth and laws everyday as the prophets were during their time— firm, unbending, faithful.
And may your heart burn too.